I have shame on me today i lost everything may be forever..help me to finding?

hello everyone i am feeling so bad now cuz i lost my best friend ..she is everything for me..we are best friends from childhood me and her were play together we also fought sometime then we become friends again..i shared everything of my life to her she also shared everything to me...and many sweet memories i have but unfortunately i have only memories not my friend ..reason is when we become young we have fun like childhood we spent time together even we both chose chennai for our institutional studies but our colleges are not same due to different courses ..but we are still spend time to share everything that relationship with her is precious for me whenever i've got any bitter expirience she hugs me and i just forgot everything i just thought abt my precious friend she is more than my male frendz to me..cuz mostly boys want to make best frendz frm boys category only...but soon after that suddenly a girl came in my life KIRTI after that i don't know y the times speed so fast in my life that i couldn't do anything and she became my girl frend ..and we spend time together and i don't know how i can be so selfish that i when my best frend ask me for coffee i refused and told her that i have to work on project with KIRTI ..i remember last time i met my best friend past three days from my picnic trip of college ..at time she hugged me and start crying i saw her first time crying cuz she is so strong she never cried in front of me..i was feeling so bad at that time i also hugged her and asked what happened ??she smiled and whipe her tears.then suddenly a message of KIRTI that u have to come know my mother talking abt my marriage i shocked and ran for KIRTI..after threem days at college picnic don't know y KIRTI was ignoring me..i tried to talk to her i tried very hard to got KIRTI but her family is so strict and at the day of her wedding i was feeling so restlessness ..but couldn't do anything and she married after 5 days of wedding my whole life spoils cuz at day time i met KIRTI she saw me and try to ignore me i've got angry now that how can she do this and i go to her she ran by watching me coming close to her but i caught her hand then she slept me and informed her husband who is standing just a little after her he aasked me wats u r problem ???then i ran away ..after 2 hours i've got messages from KIRTI in which she started abusing me and said that her father marriage her in very rich home she is so happy here ...and i 've nothing that can makeher feel happy ..and then she said go to hell..i was crying at my hostel room then suddenly something came in my ming that y i m feeling alone ..i still have most precious thing my best friend i called her but she blocked her sell phone number..then i go to her hostel but by the hostel information she leaved the hostel or may be city ..now i m crying by typing this that how can i lost her...now no one can help me in this..